death is a starlit strip

I feel strange, alone and depressed. Life’s such a black hole sometimes.

So, school’s back.

Yes, shocker. You’d think school holidays could just go on forever and ever.

But then reality crashes back in and I am rushed back into the mundane hum drum routine of things. One thing I know for certain: I will definitely sorely miss those days of sleeping in until noon. I really hate mornings. In no way can I ever possibly be described a morning person. I hate how your eyes feel so heavy with sleep and every step you take is just such a drag. But I guess that’s mostly semi-insomniac me’s fault.

My new classes are hectic, school uniform regulations even more so. This year is promising the return of the enforcement of hideous school hats and extremely long unrolled up sleeves and skirts. Ugh. School blows. I’m hoping to start doing an accelerated HSC course this year though so that should be interesting. I intend to keep my priorities straight this year so no more procrastinating and more studying. Mostly I just really want to know I can do this and it would up my chances of getting into the Philo HSC Distinction Course in ‘12.

I also need to get a job. It would be really nice to get a decent amount of money these days and I need to have something useful to do in the times when I just slack off at home. I saw a sign up for a job at the local supermarket yesterday so I’m going to try applying for that first but if I don’t get in, I’ll have to apply round some retail stores at the shopping centre.

Humm, I feel like cookies and cream. And tea.

where to, miss? to the stars.

Here I go again, changing my layouts and names and basically a lot of things in my life. I feel like such a fickle person. Life’s a rather fickle thing.

So I pretty much blue-tacked the majority of my room walls with posters (just when you think there are enough Doctor Who and Star Wars posters already haha..) and quotations today. When I finish, I think with a tinge of regret “It looks a bit…busy, much?”

Ugh, lately I’ve been feeling the constant urge for something new. Something different. Something not. Me. I just feel so sick of the person I am these days. I want to be free from stupid expectations and personality defaults. I want to stop hating myself and forget about it all. Forget about everything that makes feel ashamed and silly. And stop lying to myself. I do it so much that sometimes I don’t even know what is the truth anymore.

To live life with reckless abandon. No regrets. Stop wishing for a future that will never come soon enough. Forever is made of nows.

But most of all, I just want to know so badly that I won’t live my life in vain.

Doctor Who, Doctor Who & more Doctor Who

The title which pretty much explains almost everything that occupies my mind at the moment. DOCTOR WHO RANT>>

I promised myself that I wouldn’t decide properly my thoughts on Doctor Who until I finished the entire series and every episode associated to it (excluding the spin-offs). And now I have.

And I think it is absolutely fantasticly brilliant. There are just no words to explain how much I love, love, love this show.

It’s the kind of show that when you watch you just can’t think about much else.

And David Tennant? He’s just so, so, so great and I can’t find many words that could possibly explain how amazing he is either. I am extremely sad that he had to go and die…and regenerate. It’s just so devastating the idea that there will never be any more DW episodes of the tenth Doctor ever again. Ten will always THE Doctor to me.

But also I’m kind of half-excited to see Matt Smith as the new Doctor as well. Because while Doctor Who was very much all about David Tennant when he was Ten, Doctor Who was also very much about Christopher Eccleston when he was Nine. So I’m expecting pretty much about the same for Series 5 (or whatever they’re going to call it) but as far as I’m concerned, David Tennant can’t ever possibly be topped. I think it’s also the fact that he was a DW fan prior to becoming the tenth Doctor that gave Ten much of his energy and character and just general brilliance. I am all for fans becoming actors.

Um, haha…so I haven’t really blogged much these past holidays as I thought I would because I A) spent most of time watching a lot of TV show marathons (on my computer mostly as I hardly ever watch TV shows when they’re actually on TV) when I should have been looking and getting a job and B) haven’t really had much exciting things happening.

And that was a paragraph that could be justly described as one my former English teacher would very much dislike (she finds the grammatical structure of the A)s and B)s very disagreeable, I personally think it’s a bit unkind of her to say so, I have grown kind fond of using my grammatically incorrect sentence structure).

Which reminds me, summer holidays are coming to an end very soon. Which makes me feel equally this hybrid of excitement and dread at the same time. It is very bizarre and I really don’t know what to think.

The past few weeks of my life.

An update on how things are going as I just realised how deprived my blog is of journalistic details and all that recount stuff.

So the last few weeks of school holidays have been great. Mostly me slacking off, being anti-social and slacking off. I went down to Sydney a couple of times to either A. Visit my family or B. Shop around CBD.

When I visit my family they would constantly exclaim how tanner my skin was getting and cries of  ”Where have you been?!” and I would in return, give them despondent replies along the lines of  ”No, I didn’t go anywhere, I’m a vampire aka. antisocial hermit, I stay in the house all day” Unless you count the fluorescent glow of my lamp light enough to make my skin darker. I seriously don’t understand it. I go outside even less now that I don’t have to go to school but my skin is darker than when school was going on. Irony. Story of my life.

Slacking off mostly involves 1) TV show marathons 2) Zelda 3) Manga/Anime 4) Drawing 5) Internet.

Talking of which, here are a list of TV shows that I have gotten in to these past few weeks:
* One Tree Hill (still watching atm)

* Dollhouse (finished season 1, I want season 2 so badd D| Joss Whedon is a crazy genius and if you watched that last unaired episode of season 1, you’d definitely be sucked in for good – there’s just something about post-apocalyptic settings that makes people crazy for more)

* Terminator: Sarah Connor Chronicles (I haven’t watched any of the Terminator movies but this show was amazing. Except for the extremely crappy awful epic of a last episode where it was left on just about the hugest cliff hanger EVER since the show was then discontinued)

*Vampire Diaries (Surprisingly not really a rip-off Twilight, female lead is annoying but then again I think it’s a trend in these vampire movies/tv/lit. stuff)

And that’s about all the TV shows I’ve watched.  And wow, Andy (the New Zealand guy in One Tree Hill)  is super cute.  I am such a sap for accents. Especially New Zealand and British ones |D

On accents, I’ve also recently realised that it’s actually not the accents itself that is so positively endearing sometimes. It’s the person’s voice coupled WITH the accent. As for myself, I think there are others who work the Aussie accent better and more definitively than me.

I want to extinguish myself. To no longer be.

Noo, please you mustn’t. Little light, brave the storm.

PHOTO SPAM

For the new year!

Because I need clarity.

Ah ok I’ve changed my mind. I do need resolutions. My last post was confusing and actually kind of personal so it’s signed off now.

RESOLUTIONS FOR 2010!

1. Get better at CGing: work on both cell and soft shading.

2.  Improve art ofc

3. Study for school more and less slacking off

4. No more sleep deprivation

5. Read at least 50 books, bah, this used to be so easy…

6. Have my own personal website up, with content and layout completely by myself *stalled this for too long*

7. Improve at photography, understand canon 350D more

And that’s about it I think. Hope everyone *assuming anyone reads this thing* had a happy new year and cheerful wishes for the new decade :’D

Protected: ugh endings 2009

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Life XD

How to find out if your brother is still awake late at night without moving: unplug the internet cable.

A few seconds later: Brother storms in “Did you just unplug my net?”